What Ya Reading?
by greengirl82
Summary: What happens when one smug agent comes across a diary or an interesting book? He better hope that the owner never finds out... Two shot.
1. Dear Diary

**What Ya Reading?**

Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds, it's never going to be mine. Darn it.

Summary: What happens when one smug agent comes across a diary? He better hope the owner never finds out.

Special Thanks To: **NicknHotchfan** for the prompt. Hope you like it.

A/N: So I racked my brain for this prompt, I hope everyone enjoys it.

Thanks for reading, I know I say it every time, but how about a review?

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><p>"It seems to me that the problems with diaries, and the reason that most of them are so boring, is that everyday we vacillate between examining our hangnail and speculating on cosmic order." Ann Beattie<p>

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><p>Emily moved some paper work on her desk to hide the small journal. It was her sworn duty to keep the sacred diary safe. To guard it with her life.<p>

She knew it was stupid to keep it out on the desk instead of in the safe confines of her desk, her purse or hell even her car but she couldn't do that now.

Not with the entire team wandering around on the ground floor of the bullpen.

_'Shit, how the hell am I going to keep this diary safe now?_' Emily thought as she looked around to see JJ and Garcia in an animated conversation.

When the two blondes look over at her, they gave her a nod of approval and wander into JJ's office.

Her office phone pulled Emily from her inner thoughts and she rolled her eyes as she listened to Strauss on the phone.

"I'll be right there, ma'am." Emily said on the phone.

As she looked around to see Hotch and Morgan in a conversation while Dave wandered up to his office with a cup of coffee.

Sighing she chanced a look over her shoulder and seen Reid working on a case file, working hard as ever. Relief filled her soul as she knew that Reid won't care about reading her a diary.

Picking up her cell phone, she shot a quick text saying that the diary was hidden under her paper work. Frowning when her cell phone screen went blank, she sighed when she seen the message was sent.

Grabbing her file she walked over to Hotch and Morgan, "Hey, here's the Lewis file. I've got a meeting with Strauss."

"Uh oh, Princess" Morgan teased, "What did you do now?"

Narrowing her eyes, "Nothing, Derek Morgan. Not a thing."

Hotch rolled his eyes, as he took the file, "Thanks, Prentiss. No problem, come back up to my office when you're done. I'll need to speak to you privately."

"Sure thing, sir." Emily said shoving her cell phone in her pocket as she head towards the elevator.

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><p>Morgan felt his cell phone vibrate, looking apologetically at Hotch, "Excuse me."<p>

Morgan pulled up the text message, frowning as he read it. He grinned then chuckled as he put his phone away and wander over to Emily's desk. Hotch's eyes followed the grinning man in confusion.

"This is going to be so much fun." Morgan said smirking as he looked up to see the double confused faces of Hotch and Reid.

"Morgan, what are you doing at Emily's desk?" Reid asked.

Reid could see Morgan reach under the pile of papers and pull out a thick but small dark green journal. He held it liked he was holding the secrets of the whole world.

"Morgan, what is that?" Hotch asked walking over, his intrigue won out over concern for privacy.

Morgan's face light up like a kid on Christmas morning, "This right here, it the very private thoughts of our Princess."

"What?" Hotch asked shocked.

"That's Emily's diary?" Reid asked, his eyes looking at the book then the men's faces, fear wore his on his own face when the older men stared at the book.

"Are you going to read it?" Hotch asks Morgan looking around seeing that they were Emily Prentiss free.

"Hell yeah," Morgan said cracking open the book.

"Maybe that's not such a good idea, Morgan." Hotch said softly, debating whether to rip the book out of his hands for safe keeping or reading it himself.

Morgan turned to give Hotch a look, "Look if you're too chicken to read it, that's fine by me."

Hotch huffed out a sigh, "Ooh, all right. Fine. But not out here in the open."

"You can't do that." Reid told both of them, "That's private. Those are Emily's private thoughts."

Morgan rolled his eyes, "Whatever."

Hotch looking around again, "You don't want to read it Reid, fine."

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><p>Morgan headed towards the break room with Hotch following close behind, keeping an eye peeled for the book's owner.<p>

Both men sat down at the table, staring at the closed journal. Morgan unable to resist the sweet temptation anymore grabbed the journal and opened it staring at it like it was a lifeline.

"Well?" Hotch asked anxious to know what was happening, "What the hell are you waiting for? Read it."

Morgan read out loud, "Dear diary, well it's me again. Duh, obviously, I've had that dream again about him. I know it's wrong to have these kind of thoughts about him since we work together, but I can't help it. I mean have you taken a look at him? He's freaking gorgeous, I'm surprised he hasn't been snatched up to walk the runway or something."

Hotch chuckled at that, "I wonder who Emily's talking about?"

Morgan raised an eyebrow, "She's obviously talking about me. I mean after all I am Princess' best guy friend and the good looking one of the bunch."

Hotch rolled his eyes, "Well I'm no slouch in the looks department myself."

Morgan turned back to the diary, "I know it's wrong to have these dreams about him, since he's in a higher position than myself and as one of an authority figure, but I can't help it. Every time I see him, I have this irresistible urge to jump him in the middle of the bullpen and screw him like there was no tomorrow. I can't even believe I'm writing this, I mean what the hell would the team think? I know Morgan would laugh his ass off if he knew about my mystery man. Heck, I bet he demanded to be the star in that fantasy."

Hotch laughed, looking at Morgan whose face fell at that, "Guess she's not talking about you, Morgan."

Morgan pouted at that, but skipped to another chapter until he found a new section. Turning towards Hotch he smirked at him.

"I am so in love with him, it's not even funny. But I don't think his feelings for me are as intense as mine. Sometimes I don't think he can even stand me, let alone like me. Am I that hideous to be around? Well I better go, diary another case just dropped in my lap." Morgan read out loud.

Hotch felt his heart beat at that, "Do you think she's talking about..."

"You?" Morgan asked, "I don't know."

"Read the latest chapter" Hotch told Morgan, leaning over to look at the diary.

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><p>Morgan sighed as he went to the back of the book, reading it over to himself until Hotch grabbed for it.<p>

"What?" Hotch demanded, "What the hell is she writing about me?"

"I don't know..." Morgan paused thinking to himself, "What the hell?"

"Morgan" Hotch asked "What is it?"

Morgan looked up at Hotch about to open his mouth when they seen out of the corner of their eye Emily entering the bullpen.

"There she is" Hotch whispered, watching the brunette walk over to her desk.

They both watched Emily, turn and talk to Reid with a smile on her face. She turned back to the desk going over the papers on the desk when she frowned. She shoved through the pile again and then look up to JJ's office.

"Uh oh" Morgan said looking from Emily to the journal in their hand, "Dear diary, we're dead."

"You mean you are." Hotch said getting up and moving towards the door, "I knew you should have kept your hands off her desk."

Morgan shut the diary, looking around the break room for a hiding spot, "Shit."

Both look over at Reid's desk and notice that not only is Emily there talking to the younger man, but so was Garcia.

Looking over at each other they seen Reid point to them in the break room and grin. Both men watched as a look that could only be described as murderous rage cloud over both women's faces.

"Oh shit" Morgan repeated softly, "Oh shit, oh shit. What the hell do we tell them?"

"We?" Hotch said with a raised eyebrow, "This wasn't my idea at all. In fact I specifically remember telling you not to do this."

Morgan rolled his eyes, "Yeah for ten seconds before you cracked like an egg. Wonder how the hell you ever made it as a prosecutor."

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><p>"MORGAN!" Garcia screamed loudly, while Emily ran into the break room aiming for the diary.<p>

"You give that back, Derek Morgan." Emily ordered.

"No" Morgan said with a smirk on his face until Garcia stormed in.

"You give me that diary or I'll bash your face in." Garcia yelled.

Hotch could feel his jaw hit the floor, he was beyond shocked. Garcia was never one to lose her cool, and never direct it at Morgan either.

"Give her the damn book." Hotch muttered, unnerved by the dark brown eyes watching him.

"Fine here." Morgan said tossing it to Emily, "There's your precious diary Princess. Satisfied?"

"Hardly" Emily said handing the journal to Emily, "By the way that's not my diary."

"No?" Hotch asked, "Whose then?"

Emily looked over at Garcia who had her arms folded across her chest, "Mine, my nosey men."

Morgan's head dropped at that, not only did he piss of Emily and Garcia with his snooping, but he read Garcia's diary.

It was official, Derek Morgan was a dead man walking.

"Yours, Baby Girl?" Morgan asked, "Now I know I'm really dead."

Garcia narrowed her eyes, "I'm going to give you the one thing you didn't give me."

"What's that?" Morgan asked, fear evident in his voice.

"A head start." Garcia said rushing at him as he ran out of the bullpen towards the elevator.

Emily chuckled, watching the surprisingly fast technical analyst.

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><p>"Should I be worried about his safety?" Hotch asked.<p>

Emily turned back towards Hotch, raising an eyebrow, "You should be more worried about your own. Who the hell do you think you are reading someone's private thoughts? What would possess you to do such a thing?"

Hotch sighed, he knew it was better to be honest then try to pull a fast one on her, "I thought it was yours."

Emily rolled her eyes, "Well I gathered that. Why?"

Hotch looked up at her, sincerity in his eyes, "I wanted to get to know you better. I know it was stupid, and I am sorry."

Hotch seen her exhale at that, she was calming down. Licking her lips she looked up at him.

"It would be easier to just, I don't know talk to me," Emily told him, "Get to know me not my thoughts."

Hotch nodded, "I am sorry."

Emily rolled her eyes, "All right, you're forgiven this time. But you have to go apologize to Garcia."

Hotch chewed his lower lip, "How about after she calms down? When it's safer for me?"

"Ok." Emily said, "Now if you still want to get to know me, then how about taking me to lunch?"

Hotch chuckled his dimples becoming prominent on his face, "Why do I get the feeling that you're trying to score a free lunch out of me?"

Emily turned to walk out the break room she paused and looked back at him, "Call it restitution for my pain and suffering."

Hotch chuckled, relieved he could go to lunch with Emily and not have to worry about Garcia's wrath yet.

The two walked out of the break room and seen Morgan walk by them limping.

"What happened?" Hotch asked his partner in crime.

Morgan looked back at him, "You don't want to know. Believe me."

Garcia strolled by the dark-haired pair, "You're next."

Hotch gulped as he watched the blonde analyst turn on her heel and walk towards her office.

Looking over at Emily, he whispered, "Well it was nice knowing you."

Emily shook her head, "Maybe if you get down on your knees and tell her you did this to win my affection she'll go easy on you."

"I hope so" Hotch whispered seeing Garcia standing by her office door waiting for Hotch, "Wish me luck."

"Hey PG, go easy on him ok?" Emily told her, "I'd like him back in one piece."

"Can't make promises." Garcia said slamming the door behind her after Hotch walked in.

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><p>Mae West said, "Keep a diary, and someday it'll keep you."<p>

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><p><strong>To Be Continuted...<strong>

Well I hope you all enjoyed that, I did. Leave a review and I'll tell you who was the mystery man in Garcia's diary. :D


	2. Count Lorenzo's Ladies

**What Ya Reading?**

Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds, not me... I only own the fake book the ladies are reading.

Summary: Everyone likes to read, right? Well what happens when the guys find out what kind of books the girls are reading?

Timeline: Takes place a few months after chapter one.

A/N: A little something that popped into my head, I hope you enjoy it.

Thanks for reading, I hope you leave a review...

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><p>"Books - the best antidote against the marsh-gas of boredom and vacuity." George Steiner<p>

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><p>Emily looked over at her two blonde friends, and grinned as she put the book mark in place.<p>

"So what did you two think?" Emily asked holding up her copy of the book Count Lorenzo's Ladies.

"I freaking loved it" Garcia said, "Better then my Sookie Stackhouse books."

"Count Lorenzo is so hot" JJ chuckled, "I'm telling you, then next time Will and I are getting it on, I'm totally going to be picturing the Count."

"Ooh me too" Garcia said, "Just hope I don't shout out Lorenzo instead of Kevin, because that would be totally awkward. I love this writer Serina Truss."

Emily clamped her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing, "God can you imagine if the guys knew about this?"

JJ rolled her eyes, "Please, Will so doesn't care and I don't even try to hide the books at home."

"Kevy's a little too into his online games to care what I'm reading" Garcia said, "But I'm sure the guys on the team would totally be bowled over by it."

"Bowled over by what?" Reid asked walking into the break room to see the three women cover their books, "What are you all reading?"

"Just a book" Emily said casually.

"Well I can see that" he rolled his eyes, "What kind of a book?"

"Not a diary" Emily heard Garcia mutter, glaring into the bullpen.

"Just a book on our book club list" JJ said shoving the book in her purse, "So Spence, how's life?"

"Way to deflect, JJ" Reid said raising an eyebrow, "You're all in a Book Club? How come I wasn't invited? I like to read too."

"Sweets, I don't think these are your type of books to read" Garcia snorted, "You're more into epic biographies. And these aren't."

Reid peered down to look over the book but Emily and JJ flipped them over to hide the title.

Grabbing her book, "Meeting adjourned" Emily said rushing away from the prying eyes of her young friend.

Both JJ and Garcia hurried out, while Morgan walked in with Hotch.

"What got into them?" Morgan asked, "They rushed out of here like a bat out of hell."

"Did you know they started a book club?" Reid asked the two men.

"Yeah, Emily mentioned that a few weeks ago" Hotch said looking up, "So what's the big deal?"

"Yeah, kid" Morgan said teasingly, "What are your feelings hurt that they didn't invite you to join?"

"Well yeah" Reid said shoving his hands in his pockets, "They said that their books weren't my type of books."

Hotch shrugged his shoulders, "Well just figure out what kind of book they're reading then read it."

Emily sighed in relief as she signed her final case file, getting up she stretched and looked up to hear a whistle of approval.

"Looking good, Princess" Morgan teased as he flashed her a winning grin.

"Gee thanks" she muttered, rolling her eyes, "I'm sure Hotch will love to hear that."

Emily turned, grabbing her files, she smirked at the look of panic in Morgan's eyes as she walked up the catwalk to pass them off to Hotch.

"Come on, Princess" Morgan said, "You know I tease because I love."

"A little too much if you ask me" Emily muttered, knocking on the door and walked into Hotch's office.

Morgan turned around to Reid, "What?"

Reid just rolled his eyes, while Morgan took a seat at Emily's empty desk, played with her pens, he set it down and frowned when he felt something bulky under her paper work.

"What the...?" Morgan said slowly as he lifted the papers up and pulled out a book.

Looking at it as he read the title he frowned, he pulled open the book and read a few sentences laughing himself into a fit when he realized what kind of book it was.

"What?" Reid asked walking over to Morgan, looking down he read the two pages faster then Morgan and said, "What kind of book is that?"

"A dirty one" Morgan said chuckling as he noticed movement coming from Hotch's office he exhaled when neither dark haired agent looked at them.

Reid looked at the cover and frowned, "How can that be a dirty book?"

Morgan re-opened up the book and read a page to Reid, "She wrapped her legs around his waist, feeling him fill her with his massive... Whoa."

Morgan slammed the book shut, looking over at Reid, "Don't tell anyone about this. Especially the women."

Emily walked out of the office pausing when she noticed Morgan and Reid standing beside her desk, she tilted her head to the side. Mentally cataloging the objects on her desk, she was relieved to note that there didn't seem to be any booby-traps awaiting her and as she moved closer she saw the edge of her book and grabbed at it.

"Something wrong, Princess?" Morgan asked looking at the brunette.

"Nope" Emily replied shoving her book in her bag, she sat down, "Shouldn't you two be working?"

"Getting to it" Morgan said noticing Dave walking over to Hotch's office, armed with his own files. An idea sparked in his head, "Gotta go talk to Hotch."

Emily shrugged her shoulders as she straightened her desk and watched Morgan rush up the catwalk.

"What's up with him?" Emily asked Reid who sat down and was signing off on his files.

"I have no idea" Reid said blushing as he thought about what he read.

Hotch sat in his office watching as Emily, JJ and Garcia walked into the break room, with their lunches and books.

Shaking his head, he heard a knock on his office door, "Come in."

Looking up he seen Morgan and Dave, "Ready, Aaron?"

"Mm hmm" Hotch said closing the case file and dropping the pen, "As I'll ever be."

Emily looked over at her two book club partners, "So did you read that part about Count Lorenzo and the scullery maid?"

"I can't believe that he'd do that Yvette" Garcia said, "Man if I was her, I'd be kicking him in the cocoa puffs."

Emily and JJ laughed at that, causing the perky analyst to grin.

"Can you believe that Lorenzo did that?" JJ asked, "I mean it's not even like the maid is that bright."

"I do have to say that the love scenes are hot" Emily said, "God if I could only get Hotch to dress as a Count..."

"Maybe if you said, 'one hahaha, two hahaha, three." Garcia said.

"I won't have him dressing like the Count from Sesame Street" Emily said narrowing her eyes.

"Can't blame a girl for wanting to sweep the clouds away to find your way to where the air is clean..." Garcia started.

"Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street" JJ finished off laughing, "God Garcia, I love you."

"Tell me something I didn't already know?" Garcia said grinning.

"Well, well, well" Morgan said standing in the doorway, causing the three women to look up, "Is this the infamous ladies book club?"

"Yes it is, my Milk Chocolate Man Candy" Garcia said turning her book over to hide the cover while Emily and JJ placed theirs on there laps.

"So how's the book?" Dave asked, "Are any of you reading any Dave Rossi specials?"

Emily rolled her eyes, "Nope but some of what we read reminds of us of you."

JJ snorted at that, while Hotch narrowed his eyes staring at the brunette who was avoiding all of their eyes.

"So my Mocha Dipped Man, what brings you all down here?" Garcia asked slowly dragging her book towards her bag.

"Well this is a break room" Hotch said keeping his eyes on Emily, enjoying seeing her squirm under his gaze, "We're here to eat lunch."

"Oh" Emily said grabbing her bag, "That's great."

Dave rolled his eyes as he walked over to the refrigerator grabbing out his lunch bag, "So how's the book?"

"It's really... interesting" JJ said looking over at the other two women, "Right?"

"And informative" Garcia agreed.

"Emily?" Hotch asked, "Are you enjoying your book?"

Emily's mind began to connect the dots, why were they all interested in their book? Her eyes shot to the other two women, and they could tell she knew something. Morgan at her desk, his eager attitude. Light bulb flashing over her head moment, she knew they knew.

"Why the sudden interest in my book?" Emily asked.

Hotch kneeled down next to her, "Why wouldn't I be interested? After all doesn't a man take interest in what his girlfriend enjoys?"

Rolling her eyes, "Cut the crap, Hotch."

Morgan took the empty seat next to Garcia while Dave stood behind JJ and said, "You know I read an interesting book the other day..."

"Really?" Reid asked, "What?"

Emily shot the two blondes a look, and they all knew that the men knew.

"A book about a Count" Dave said, "Have you read any interesting books lately?"

"As a matter of fact, I just started a really great book. Can I tell you about it?" Hotch said keeping his eyes on Emily.

"Sure" Dave said smugly.

Hotch stood up, "Well it's about this Debutant named Yvette..."

Emily closed her eyes, as she felt her face turn crimson red from embarrassment.

"She's dating this Count named Lorenzo" Hotch added, "He's in this sort of love triangle with a scullery maid..."

"And to prove her love she sleeps with him" Emily finished turning around more composed, "I can't believe you read my book."

Morgan leaned in, "Princess that wasn't a book, that was porn."

"It's erotica" JJ corrected, "And there is nothing wrong with a little healthy smut filled reading."

"Smut" Dave said snorting behind her, "Sweetheart take it from someone who writes books..."

"Crime books" Garcia told him, narrowing her eyes on him, "What we read is none of your business."

"It's porn" Morgan said laughing, "Baby Girl, it's just porn admit it."

Reid walked over grabbing the book from Garcia's hand, "The Sacred Heart, the Count Lorenzo's Ladies series."

Flipping the book over he read the bibliography on it, "Despite the premise of the book, from what we read yesterday it's a well written though not totally believable."

"You actually read it?" Emily asked, "Really?"

"I found the laundry scene quite believable and entertaining. It was very erotic and dirty" Reid told the three women causing Hotch to raise an eyebrow and grab the book from him.

"What page was that on?" Hotch had only read the first three pages, finding it tedious and only wanting enough to tease the women.

Hotch found the page in the book, "Yvette scrubbed the blood soaked shirt on the board, she could feel the heat of the sunny day hit her back causing sweat to pour down her heaving breasts..."

Dave and Morgan's ears perked up at that, "Go on..."

"She beat the shirt trying to get the red stain out of the white top" Hotch cleared his throat, "She couldn't allow Lorenzo to be hanged for protecting her honor. As she looked up she could feel his dark gaze on her. Her stomach tightened with excitement as her loins burned for his touch..."

"Well go on..." Morgan asked looking up at Hotch.

"Yes, please do go on Agent Hotchner" Strauss said causing all the agents to flinch as they turned around, "I am rather interested in hearing how this story ends."

Reid's cheeks went pink as he looked down at the table in front of him, while Emily and Hotch looked in Strauss' eyes.

"Ma'am?" Hotch told her, "Is there something you needed?"

"Just came by to pick up the James file" Strauss said turning and walking out of the break room towards Anderson and Gina's desk.

"Whew" Dave said, "That was a close one."

"Too close" Emily said narrowing her eyes as she looked from the book to Strauss, her interest peeked and shook her head.

"What?" Hotch asked looking over at the brunette as she appeared deep in thought, "What is it?"

"Somethings off with her" Emily trailed off shaking her head at that thought, "I guess it'll come to me when it's ready."

Strauss walked into her office, tossing the file onto her desk and opened up her computer.

"Hmm" Strauss said, "Now what should Count Lorenzo and Yvette's latest story be?"

She looked over at the BAU team as they moved from the break room, her eyes on Hotch and Emily, the wheels began to spin in her mind she clicked away on her computer.

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><p>"A dirty book is rarely dusty." Author Unknown<p>

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><p><strong>The End<strong>

Well I hope you all liked this, leave a review and let me know.


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